Tårar av sorg och glädje

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Det har varit några omtumlande dagar. Tårar av sorg och av glädje. Det känns fel att skriva om båda händelserna i samma blogg. Min vän Stefan ”Polis” Wihlborgs sorgliga bortgång. Min kära systerdotter Pernilla Amort-Karyds 50-årsdag så otroligt glädjefylld, jag återkommer.

Jag kan inte skriva bättre om Stefans ”Polis” bortgång än vad hans son Sebastian gjort på Facebook till sina vänner. Sebastian studerar vid The American Academy of Dramatic Arts i New York. Jag vet att Stefan var mycket stolt över Sebastian och hans yrkesval. Sebastian har skrivit det här och jag vill inte ge mig på att översätta:

”On February 12th you closed your eyes and fell asleep for the very last time. I’ve been going around since then, thinking about what I want to say to you. There was simply not enough time with you on earth. It’s been a rough ride but I think it’s important to tell you that you were and will always be my best friend.

Life is not fair and it certainly wasn’t fair to you. The last couple of days I’ve been thinking about how I feel about you passing on and understand now that I’m happy that you’re finally free. Free from the chains that held you down and kept you from living the life you deserved. That being said, it hasn’t been all bad. I remember laughs and stories about trips you took and the complex love we had for each other. I would often get stopped on the street by people I’ve never met, who asked me if my father was Stefan Wihlborg. I’m proud to say that we are so alike and I’m happy to be your son.

You were a father that was so proud of me and never thought twice about telling me that you were. You were a father who shined every time someone mentioned my name, who told everyone about me and found joy in sharing the smallest things with me. You would call me and tell me stories I had heard 100 times before and you knew that you had done so — but it didn’t matter. The last couple of years we were so far apart and you never needed an excuse to talk to me. Your name was Stefan and among some of your friends your nickname was Stiff. You weren’t stiff — you were the warmest and the most wonderful man I have ever met. You didn’t want us to suffer and you didn’t want us to feel bad for you. You knew this was coming but you saw it as more important that we enjoyed the last time together here on earth.

I have had long talks with mom and Mona. I have explained to Ewa and some other people who were dear to you, what I will do now. I know that you loved me endlessly for the choices I made and the dream I followed. You would hate me forever if I gave up and especially if I gave up on the craft. I decided that I will not go home right now. You and I can be together later and talk, laugh and cry about times that were. People live and people die. The only way we can make someone immortal is by making them live through us. In my case I will let you live through my art. The first time I played that awful recorder in church you cried. You never stopped crying. Those proud tears were shed through the first time I sang for you, Hair, Spring Awakening and every time we talked about those moments. People often remember their loved ones laughing. The moments I will cherish forever is the moments that you cried — because I know that there weren’t many and I know that those tears came from the deep love you had for me. I’m doing all this for you, dad.

Your uncle Göte always said that when he passed, that he would sit up high on a cumulus cloud and look down on us. I know that you’re up there with him now — looking down on us — laughing and crying about all the foolish things we do down here.

The puddles of tears around my apartment will dry, but you will never be forgotten. You will always be my best friend. I will love you forever. Rest in peace.”
– Your dear son Sebastian

Sebastians kärlek till sin far och i likhet med mig ni kanske fäller en tår. Mina tankar också till hustru Mona Sigbritt och yngre barnen Nils och Elin uppe i Dalarna. Begravningsakt fredag 11 mars på Mellersta Kyrkogården kl 11.00.

 

 

 

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